I have never seen an opera. I don't know why. My parents weren't too big about the arts, they are supporters and maybe we would go see Christmas Carol every other year downtown. But they are much of the mindset 'why fund a play when you can buy a new MRI machine for the hospital'. So, once I became invested in the theatre and began writing and attending productions regularly, I believe my parents have always been in the back of my mind and I get very suspicious of lavish productions. And Don Giovani was the definition of this frustration.
Upon walking into the theater (for the first time ever) I was taken back by how gigantic it is. It's huge! My brain immediately stared to compare the two performance spaces the Theatre department has versus the MAC and I became instantly overwhelmed with the difference. Then the show happened. And the set was obviously expensive, the costumes were lush, the special effects were insane. And that's all I could think about. I felt like I was crunching numbers the entire time. Not only on the extravagant budget of the production, but look at all the people! There were so many people in this theatre! And I think that's wonderful! But how come we can't get those people to see our shows? Why aren't people dressed up to come to a show in the Wells-Metz? Why does the opera feel like such an esteemed ritualistic outing to some, yet... the theatre does not.
And there wasn't anything special about this production. I was actually bored most of the time. Annoyed I had to read and watch. Irked that it's commonplace to ask opera viewers to sit through an over three hour show, but when we do that in the theatre, well... people get upset.
And I left the theatre thinking what Andrea mentioned in her post, maybe "I'm just not a good opera viewer". But is that possible? Should there be an attempted class distinction when it comes to art? Okay, maybe I don't get opera. But I had to stop and think to myself... how could I be bad at viewing something? I was blaming this unsuccessful* production to my own fault. And I think that's wrong. It's almost like viewer's guilt. The feeling of "Oh... I didn't get it... I must not be as smart as these people or on their level." I think that's a terrible way to feel after viewing art.
*I say unsuccessful because it did nothing for me. I was not transported. I was only transported to a place of frustration. But I was not invested in the story line. I was not invested in the characters, nor the actors who portrayed those characters. I understand that it may have been effective for some and that's fantastic! I'm glad! I also understand that there will be shows that are effective for me and not for others. That's amazing too! But, for me, it was not a successful production.
I have friends who have cathartic experiences at the opera. They gush over it. Very similarly to the moment in Philadelphia with Tom Hanks, as Ellen mentioned in class the other day. And I watch that scene with Tom Hanks. And I want that. Oh, do I want that. I was to feel that way about the opera and cry at the mere thought of the last time I was transported. And what does that say about me? That I can't go there? Does that make me an unsuccessful artist? Or even, in the case of Philadelphia, an unsuccessful gay man? (I know that sounds silly... but there does seem to be this huge kinship between the opera and gay men. It's always in gay literature I read, plays I see... I think it has something to do with the larger than life aspect.)
No. Just because I don't like Opera. Or don't get Opera. Does not make me an unsuccessful whatever.
Because I've had those experiences before. I've cried during performances. I've been transported. I've had the urge to yell from the audience "Please, don't do that. As this play has moved forward I've truly come to see you not as a character, but as a person, and you're about to make a huge mistake and I can't let you do that because I love you."
That was not the case with Don Giovani.
And that's okay.
And maybe I'll learn to become a good opera... but for now. I'm not.
And I'm totally fine with that.
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